Roles: work, family, close people
Three cards for the three main roles in your life, to see which one takes more than it gives.
The technique below lives inside Self-Work Navigator on our platform – open it and the steps walk you through automatically.
Open Self-Work NavigatorAbout this technique
Roles: work, family, close people is a 15-minute self-reflection technique with metaphorical associative cards (MAC). Three cards for the three main roles in your life, to see which one takes more than it gives. The session is designed to be run on your own, in your browser, without a therapist or a registration step.
It fits when the feeling of being pulled apart, without knowing where exactly it tears. On the platform the steps walk you through automatically inside Self-Work Navigator, so you don't have to remember anything beyond the question you brought. We recommend starting with Reflection – it lands well for this kind of work.
When this technique fits
- The feeling of being pulled apart, without knowing where exactly it tears.
- One area of life has been in the shadows for a while and you want to see it on the table rather than in your head.
- After a new job, a move or a new role: the set of roles changed, the habits did not.
When it doesn't fit
- If you have one or two roles right now, the layout has nothing to work with. That says nothing about you: the technique is about balance, and balance needs something to tip.
- If the question is not about how your energy is split but about one specific situation, take One card or the Four-point cross.
What you need
- 15 minutes alone.
- A deck with images of people.
- Paper and a pen: write the three roles down before you draw.
The layout
3 positions. Each one has its own question, and the card in it answers that question rather than the whole request.
- 1First roleHow do I look from the inside in this role?
- 2Second roleWhat comes easily here?
- 3Third roleWhere am I most like myself?
How the session goes
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1
Name three roles
Not job titles, but how you behave in different parts of your life. For example: the one who is responsible for the result; the one who is next to a child; the one who is with friends.
Write down three. If you have more, take the ones you actually spend the most time in, not the ones you like best.
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2
A card for the first role
Draw face down and place it on the first spot. The card does not illustrate the role, it shows how you look from the inside while you are in it.
- What do I see on the card?
- How is this like me in this role?
- How much energy does it take, on a scale of ten?
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3
A card for the second role
Face down again, onto the second spot.
- What is different here compared to the first card?
- What comes easily in this role?
- How much energy does this one take?
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4
A card for the third role
The third card on the third spot. Now the whole set is in front of you.
- What do I see?
- Where in this role am I most like myself?
- How much energy does this one take?
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5
Look at all three together
Not one by one, but as a picture. Roles are rarely equal, and a tilt is not a problem in itself. The question is whether it was chosen or just happened.
- Which role takes more than it gives?
- Which role has had no attention for a long time?
- Is this tilt something I choose, or something that just happened?
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6
One step
Do not rebuild your life. Find one action for the coming week that returns some energy to the role that is running low, or takes some load off the one that is overloaded.
- What can I do this week?
- What in the overloaded role can I drop without losing anything?
Closing the session
Gather the cards. If you found a step, write it down together with the day of the week: a role changes through where the time goes, not through noticing.
If a lot came up
Sometimes what sits behind the tilt is not a schedule but something larger: a role you have been living in without choosing it. If the layout leaves you heavy, stop and go back to a resource technique. You do not have to work through that alone.
Recommended decks
About metaphorical associative cards (MAC)
Metaphorical associative cards (MAC) are a projective tool used in self-reflection, coaching and therapy. Unlike tarot or oracle cards, they don't predict anything – the image becomes a mirror for what is already happening inside you, helping you put words on something that was unclear or hard to say directly.
You can work with MAC cards alone, with a therapist, or in a group. The card itself is not the answer; it is a frame for asking yourself a more honest question. The same image can mean very different things to two different people on the same day, and that is exactly what makes the tool work.